we have officially lost it.
I faked an abortion last night.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
