What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So vagazzling was a success
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
