would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
