he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
