JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
