i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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