Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize