just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just want to make out with him forever
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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