i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
