fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
