fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
