I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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