You really coming over, don't trick.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
