he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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