i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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