I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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