She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
