at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
