3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
try to milk me bitch
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