dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize