If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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