why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
