Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
