Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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