literally had 100 drinks last night.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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