i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just tell him i said nine months
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
