hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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