She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
