Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
