I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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