We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My bed smells like the plague
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
