it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize