i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
