I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
