Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
