pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
