Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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