So drunk its hurt
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
