he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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