i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
