Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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