isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
