I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
