these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
