After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
