I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
