the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
we're so committed to being not committed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
