i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
