It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
