thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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