he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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