he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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