we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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