I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
