We won't sleep together?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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