Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
