Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you will always have a special place in my vag
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
