Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
