i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
zippers are such a cool invention
Farmville is her only friend.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
