I'm going to jail i love you
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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