i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
