i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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